RA Patients Still GOT IT!

My sisters and I have had the discussion on what Edward Cullen finds sexy. For instance, Edward was supposedly drawn to Bella by her SCENT and not her looks. So does that mean that RA sufferers out there could have experienced a similar draw from Edward? Maybe "draw" isn't the best word to use as he strives to be a vegetarian vampire but might fall off the wagon at any moment and need the real deal!

Hey Edward, You like to dance but not Bella, so much! Good news big buddy, I still have some moves going for me...yup, you should see me dance to my favorite music... "doing the shuffle, the RA shuffle". It looks and is a little painful but sometimes the music just MOVES me! You know what I'm talking about! There is often a bit of noise involved coming from creaking joints that scream, "What the heck are you doing to us now?!" But, as I've never been one to listen - the DANCE goes on! Oh, Yeah Baby! And Edward, another big plus for me...I really LOVE baseball!

More good news - aging doesn't seem to be a factor for Edward where true love is concerned - he thought Bella's granny looked pretty hot in Bella's dream. Does Edward have xray vision or is that just Superman? (I wouldn't want him to see my lovely knee braces). Oh and hey Edward, I could carry your extra things in my walker basket for you. Then again you are incredibly strong so don't need any help in that department. In fact you could carry ME wherever I want to go. Which reminds me, I sure wouldn't mind seeing the views you showed Bella from the top of those huge trees in Twilight :-)

Isn't it fun to dream?

Walkers and Leg Braces

It has been over three years since the RA diagnosis. My new normal is so different than it use to be...I can't help wondering: Where will I be three years from now? Will I still be going to work everyday? Will I still be mobile and walking?

I fell a few weeks ago and ended up in the ER for xrays. The nurse when she checked me in gave me a special bracelet to wear that said "fall risk". I asked her if I could have a box of them so I could wear a fresh one everyday...she laughed like I was kidding.  They prescribed a walker for me to use as needed. Instead of one of those clunky silver things we purchased a fancier version from the drugstore. It has a seat, is bright red (my favorite color) with big wheels, and brakes thankfully! It has allowed me to feel safer taking walks in the neighborhood. If I tire there's a place to sit down...All of a sudden walking the mall won't seem such a daunting task - plus I have a little basket under the seat! Shopping, anyone?

A few days later I was sent to an orthopedic doctor to examine the xrays. He showed me that my kneecaps have moved towards the outside of my knees. It was shocking to see those images. They took me off guard. The doctor said physical therapy wouldn't help. It was how the disease was progressing in my case. NOW I understood the increased discomfort and why my knees feel so unstable.

My RA doctor asked me to start wearing knee braces in the hopes of holding the knees in place and perhaps keeping the kneecaps from displacing further. After the first few days, I adjusted to the bulk and feel of them AND they are helping. Because of the size of my knees I needed large braces but the poor nurse searched everwhere for two in size large but could only find one - so until my next visit I have one large and one extra large. I've discovered that when I wear them on bare skin they grip well and feel supportive but add quite a bit of bulk under my slacks or jeans. I tried wearing them over nylons with a skirt but the texture of the nylons allowed the extra large one to start slipping south - Wouldn't that make a lovely picture and a new way to fall down...I fell over my knee braces!? Explain THAT to the ER nurse or your friends!

I regret to say that the knee pain is not fun and often wakes me at night when my knees pop and move. It is easy to feel anxious over this new development. I have to remind myself that "in everything give thanks to the Lord". Everything means everything...He is holding me fast and if I cleave to Him the fear subsides. Fear is such an enemy to us and pulls our vision away from our Savior and onto the circumstances. "So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." Isaiah 41:10

You are a woman to LOVE

says Jack...And Diane Keaton, with a perplexed face, asks herself "what does that mean?"

(whine) I wanna go walking on the beach with my sweetie and pick up rocks - white, black or otherwise. Let's go! Hmmm....spontaneity - what a wonderful word. Just BEING together with the one you love. There is nothing quite like it. Especially if that person really "gets" you. Mike and I have had to learn to re-think spontaneity - its called spontaneity with forethought added in :-). Outings take more planning to accommodate my physical challenges. Keeping a sense of humor is very helpful but in all honesty we have both had times of mourning what is lost and what our new reality has become.

Those of you who know my husband Mike know that I am blessed. He is the dearest of men. We are best friends on this journey called life. Sadly, when you have RA, or any autoimmune disease, it doesn't just affect you. It affects your spouse too. Mike has had to take days off work to drive me to the doctor; he helps with housework chores that I can no longer manage (i.e. scrubbing the tub); he does the majority of the grocery shopping and has cooked many meals. He has managed to sleep beside me on my worst pain filled nights - loving me and praying for me. Maybe it is harder on the caregiver, when a flare is occurring, than the recipient of that care. I don't know the answer to that but sometimes I fear it is true.  But Mike has set his mind to accept the things we cannot change and to let God 'grow him up' through life experiences. He faithfully reads his Bible and encourages me daily and He still feels "I am a woman to love". What does that mean to me? That His love for me is a reflection of his love for God. It means that he has loved me through all the changes and we are still Valentines. For always and forever.

In this blog I just need to express my gratefulness for my husband. For this wonderful gift God gave me in His provision for my life mate. Thank you Lord!  My husband has such a courageous heart for You, Lord! I am truly blessed! ...Honey, I love you!

Make our Favorite Things our Everyday Things

When we moved from our fairly good sized home in Hemet to our little cabin getaway in Idyllwild we had to downsize dramatically. Where did we get all that stuff! It really was just stuff with some treasures tucked in. It was surprising what you can accumulate over the years. Did I really need to keep a lock of hair from the girl's first haircuts...yes...but there was plenty of other stuff that could go!

When it came to downsizing the kitchen this was a bit of a challenge. Our new home had 1/4 the cupboard space. So was I really going to need that apple coring machine? Nope! I have a perfectly good paring knife that will do the trick. I tried to view all my gadgets with a critical eye. Looking at my dishes I decided it was time to say goodbye to most things and start using my good china, that was my mother's. Use it everyday! Really enjoy those pretty dishes that usually were only set out for holidays. If a piece broke, oh well. Though they are nice dishes they are still just 'things' and who enjoys them when they're tucked away? My grandmother once said "there are no U-Hauls on the back of a hearse". Yup, no one takes 'stuff' with you and it is ALL JUST STUFF!  My treasures should be in heaven alone. It was time to enjoy these special things everday so into the garage sale pile the other dishes went.  It was a very cleansing thing to do.

My sister Marcia shared that her Bible study group had a discussion along that subject and here's a quote from one of her friend's mothers,"if you don't ever use it, then you never really owned it".  Isn't that a cool saying?!?

Every once in awhile it is time to re-think the inventory because it is easy to start re-accumulating things you just don't have room for. (Just ask my husband who could be nicknamed Mr. Toss-It-Out. In fact I better have a death grip on the arms of my chairs or I could end up in his next garage sale marked 'for sale CHEAP') Over the years, I have learned to tell my friends and family that if they are going to give me a gift, my favorite things are things that can be used up. Soaps, note cards, a gift certificate for a pedicure...those kinds of gifts are just the best, especially when you have a little house.

So please stop by sometime and we'll have a cup of tea and share some cookies on one of my now favorite/everyday china dessert plates. If something breaks - no worries - I have a setting for 12 so I should be good for awhile! :-)

Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal, but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven...for where your treasure is there will your heart be also.   Matthew 6:18-21