Yikes! Technology!

Does anyone else out there feel like the technological world is passing you by...For instance now there are phones with apps that do everything except brush your teeth and tuck you in at night. I remember mimeographs, for heaven's sake - I would spell check that but I'm sure that word is too ancient for my computer spell check to even recognize. How about IBM Selectric typewriters? Wow, those things were something and they even had a correction ribbon built right in!

The other night I went to a movie and two "20 somethings" were sitting in front of me waiting for the show to start. A guy and a girl - maybe a date? If it was a date it was pretty sad because they both sat there madly texting on their own phones. I kept waiting for them to converse with each other but NOPE the people they were texting with on their phones were more important to them, or even sadder maybe they were texting each other because they don't know how to look each other in the eye! Take a clue people. We need to TALK; more face to face interaction before the art of conversation is lost entirely. Oh and spelling words out correctly is a thing of the past - everything has an abbreviation. I'd give you an example but because this blog is about how I don't get it then I can safely admit that I don't know what some of the abbreviations stand for. For instance when someone put LOL I thought they meant lots of luck for the longest time! Yup, I'm that old person with the confused look on my face trying to read messages that are cryptically written. Hope they aren't letting me know I just won a million dollars because I just night hit 'delete".

Another lost art is note writing. Taking a minute to say "Hi, I was thinking of you" in a note card that requires a stamp and an envelope. Don't you just love getting a handwritten card in the mail? I do! Instead we rely on emails which makes perfect sense, it really does, you don't need to wait for several days to get a reply to your letter. Instant gratification! I email my sisters almost daily. I love that we can stay in touch so easily but getting that personalized note card or birthday card is such a treat.

The other day I was thinking that this young generation will someday be standing in my shoes trying to figure out how technology left them in the dark. They will be saying "remember the days when we had our I-Pads and I-phones? Remember how we used Email, for heavens sake"?

Drama, Drama, Drama!

Some days just seem full of drama. Once my daughter Joanne described her toddler daughter as 'living in a glass house of emotions' that day. Don't we all have those days?

It isn't the huge life changing issues that I'm referring to here - that falls into an entirely different category. I am talking about the things that are bugging us at the moment. A messy bathroom left for you to clean up, someone ate the last of the ice cream (it might have been you the night before, but still!...), the car is making a funny noise, the meatloaf burned, the kids have been stepping on every last nerve you have or you just had an ugly disagreement with your teenager. You think longingly of the Sandals Resort commercial only you consider going alone a nice idea, because you just aren't in the mood to deal with anybody, at least at the moment.

I think that is the key phrase - at the moment.  It is a moment, a temporary situation. If we dwell on that moment and give it more fuel by pestering it mentally to death then we will find the next drama-moment will bug us even worse. We will enter a downward spiral. Instead, we need to de-rail the effects of the drama and recognize things for what they are - usually small stuff and as the saying goes "don't sweat the small stuff - and it is all small stuff". We need to redirect our focus...For me, what works is to think of a praise song and start singing it - or recall a verse and meditate on it...This scrubs my mental clockwork and gets me back on track. That is the power of the Word of God. It is life changing and also moment changing.

I've been reading the Old Testament, and over and over the Israelites whine and complain - human nature rears its ugly head even in the midst of God's provision - sound familiar? It sure does to me. The temptation to focus on circumstances instead of AMAZING GOD!

RA Patients Still GOT IT!

My sisters and I have had the discussion on what Edward Cullen finds sexy. For instance, Edward was supposedly drawn to Bella by her SCENT and not her looks. So does that mean that RA sufferers out there could have experienced a similar draw from Edward? Maybe "draw" isn't the best word to use as he strives to be a vegetarian vampire but might fall off the wagon at any moment and need the real deal!

Hey Edward, You like to dance but not Bella, so much! Good news big buddy, I still have some moves going for me...yup, you should see me dance to my favorite music... "doing the shuffle, the RA shuffle". It looks and is a little painful but sometimes the music just MOVES me! You know what I'm talking about! There is often a bit of noise involved coming from creaking joints that scream, "What the heck are you doing to us now?!" But, as I've never been one to listen - the DANCE goes on! Oh, Yeah Baby! And Edward, another big plus for me...I really LOVE baseball!

More good news - aging doesn't seem to be a factor for Edward where true love is concerned - he thought Bella's granny looked pretty hot in Bella's dream. Does Edward have xray vision or is that just Superman? (I wouldn't want him to see my lovely knee braces). Oh and hey Edward, I could carry your extra things in my walker basket for you. Then again you are incredibly strong so don't need any help in that department. In fact you could carry ME wherever I want to go. Which reminds me, I sure wouldn't mind seeing the views you showed Bella from the top of those huge trees in Twilight :-)

Isn't it fun to dream?

You are a woman to LOVE

says Jack...And Diane Keaton, with a perplexed face, asks herself "what does that mean?"

(whine) I wanna go walking on the beach with my sweetie and pick up rocks - white, black or otherwise. Let's go! Hmmm....spontaneity - what a wonderful word. Just BEING together with the one you love. There is nothing quite like it. Especially if that person really "gets" you. Mike and I have had to learn to re-think spontaneity - its called spontaneity with forethought added in :-). Outings take more planning to accommodate my physical challenges. Keeping a sense of humor is very helpful but in all honesty we have both had times of mourning what is lost and what our new reality has become.

Those of you who know my husband Mike know that I am blessed. He is the dearest of men. We are best friends on this journey called life. Sadly, when you have RA, or any autoimmune disease, it doesn't just affect you. It affects your spouse too. Mike has had to take days off work to drive me to the doctor; he helps with housework chores that I can no longer manage (i.e. scrubbing the tub); he does the majority of the grocery shopping and has cooked many meals. He has managed to sleep beside me on my worst pain filled nights - loving me and praying for me. Maybe it is harder on the caregiver, when a flare is occurring, than the recipient of that care. I don't know the answer to that but sometimes I fear it is true.  But Mike has set his mind to accept the things we cannot change and to let God 'grow him up' through life experiences. He faithfully reads his Bible and encourages me daily and He still feels "I am a woman to love". What does that mean to me? That His love for me is a reflection of his love for God. It means that he has loved me through all the changes and we are still Valentines. For always and forever.

In this blog I just need to express my gratefulness for my husband. For this wonderful gift God gave me in His provision for my life mate. Thank you Lord!  My husband has such a courageous heart for You, Lord! I am truly blessed! ...Honey, I love you!

Put Down the Donut and Stop the Train Wreck!

Well, time to 'fess up'. Since the beginning of October, through sister reunion and on, my eating plan has been a train-wreck! The good thing about this is that there are so many lessons to be learned. For instance, discipline, self-control and responsibility. What had happened is I had gone back to the "diet mentality" which translates to: good times (eating according to plan) versus bad times (being out of control and eating whatever whenever). UGLY!

For several months I was cautious with what I ate. Did the food decrease inflammation? Then it was a good choice. Did the food cause inflammation? Then AVOID at all costs. I felt better with less swelling, more stamina and energy. So good eating and foregoing culprit foods was well worth the sacrifice. The rheaumatoid arthritis wasn't cured but it was more manageable. Here was the natural way to add to my healing and health.

Then, within a short time on the Humira, I discovered something wonderful - it was working! YES! AWESOME! I also found that when I ate a forbidden food it didn't cause me to flare up with pain. YAHOO! So, consequently, one bad food choice led to another and to another...until the train derailed! My body started suffering and inflammation and pain grabbed hold again. Ouch!

So what have I been learning? That now is the time to learn balance. Its great that there are times when I can enjoy sugar, wheat or dairy but beware of my old mindset that causes the train to derail - that old "all or nothing" mentality with eating. For years this was how I was with weight loss diets - This isn't about that anymore. It is about feeling better and experiencing less pain. Thankfully, the foods that reduce inflammation taste great. They are healthy, nourishing foods that heal and build the body. They are the foods that should make up the majority of my diet.

BUT - When there's a special event then enjoy - participate but don't be a train wreck! Get back on track and move forward. I'm in my late 50's and only God knows the number of my days. Wouldn't it be great to know that good choices dietarily could mean I would have the best health possible as the years progress? The answer to that is a resounding YES!

"Blessed is the one whom God corrects, so do not despise the discipline of the Almighty" Job 5: 16

Exercising - My Way

Every RA article you read includes a reminder to exercise. In the days prior to my life changing diagnosis, lengthly walks were one of my favorite pasttimes. There was always so much to see and hear as you walked along enjoying the view and fresh air. If someone asked me what I miss most prior to RA, it would be my solitary walks. It was therapuetic thinking and praying time for me. It was restorative, energizing, and the list goes on...Ahhh!!!!

So now I'm encouraged to continue exercising but I am learning how to modify traditional exercise to an RA friendly version that can be effective for me now. For example:

Exercise #1: Morning stretches- Several years ago, my chiropractor taught me some preventative stretching exercises to help my lower back. I still do these stretches every single morning before getting up. Although the location has changed from the floor to the bed (I'd like to get on the floor but that would mean I'd have to get UP from the floor! Now, THAT would be heart pumping exercise!).

Exercise #2: Standing up straight - who'd of thunk it but that is exercise for me. Getting and keeping my shoulders properly positioned and my back erect takes more effort now and "muscle memory" throughout the day. Anyone who has dealt with chronic pain knows it makes you curl forward - sort of in a self protecting stance. To straighten up with correct posture takes effort and even more effort to maintain. So to me this is exercise to work at throughout the day. "Sit up straight", yup, Mom was right!

Exercise #3: Walking - I still go for walks but sometimes I might need a cane. Now I walk with a slow, deliberate pace instead of fast and energetic like the old days, but believe me I'm still expending a lot of  energy. When time allows I will walk a bit on my lunch hour. There is an area near my office building that is fairly flat and easy for me to handle. The hills of Idyllwild are presently too difficult for me. Strangely I can handle the "up" pretty well but the "down" side is painful on my knees and legs.  AND what goes up must come down!

Exercise #4: Yoga for Arthritis - My younger daughter gave me this great DVD and I can do a few segments of it pretty well. I love the reminder to breathe through every movement. Just breathe! Such a restorative thing to do as I fill my lungs with good air and in the exhale, release tension and pain. Wonderfully restful yet energizing!

It is a treat when we plan a shopping day and I can manage the walking that entails but I have learned now more than ever that we live just one day at a time. I try and enjoy the day out, and though there might be a few rest stops needed, it is wonderful to be with a family member or a friend for the day.

I'll try to keep focusing on God's amazing wonderfulness and see the gift of each day as it is precious and not to be squandered. OOPS! I should add Exercise #5 which is the most important! Keep the Faith!

Learning to deal with Stress

What had caused the RA gene inside of me to activate? Was there anything I could change in my lifestyle? How about stress? RA is very stressful due to the pain, swelling and demands on your physical and emotional self. And stress is an inducer to flare ups so one of the first things I focused on was how was I handling stresses in my life?

Everyone has issues that cause stress - family dynamics, our job, finances and life in general...but was I internalizing stress or was I truly a prayer warrior AND trusting in the Lord for His faithfulness? Go to the Word - that is where all answers can be found. I started challenging myself on whether I was a hearer of the Word or a doer of the Word. Now that I was faced with dibilitating health issues it challenged my faith on a whole new level. I must continue to stand on the promises of God. This doesn't just happen it takes practice and perseverence and continual reminding to yourself. Did I grasp that suffering was not something to fear but a way to draw me deeper into fellowship with my loving Savior? His Word IS truth! So the scriptures that I read began to take on stronger deeper meaning. What did I have to fear? Fear is a huge stressor. Fear of the unknown. We all deal with this but we can grow more and more victorious through this. God never fails. He is never surprised at what is happening. He never says - "Whoa, what happened here?" He is omnicient, omnipresent and omnipotent. Did I realize that I control very little in my life but He controls everything all the time! There is a saying "focus on your problems and God seems small, focus on God and your problems are small". This is so true.

What is helpful to me that you might want to try if you haven't already, is to write down scriptures that speak to your heart. Tape the verse on your mirror or put it in your pocket to take out and reflect on several times a day. How helpful these steps proved to me because pain makes you forget quickly and pulls your focus. Fight the good fight of faith and use tools that are helpful to you on the battleground. We can know victory and peace - HIS peace that passes our frail human understanding. Of course I continue to pray for physical healing but nearly three years into this I can truly say, "Thank you Lord! I am grateful for the journey you are taking me on!" We can learn so much that we could never grasp during easy times. How fresh is the fragrance of the air after a storm, and rain and storms are necessary to keep things cleansed and watered. He has been cleansing and watering my soul - calling me to fellowship in His sufferings. This suffering of mine is small and insignificant in comparison to what He did for me on the cross. Yet He is always present and guiding me through every challenge.Thank you Lord!

The next thing I started trying to be aware of is to relax as much of my body as I could. Pain causes surrounding muscles and areas to tighten and I realized I needed to work on this. Good old Lamaze! BREATHE - deeply - BREATHE and release my muscles. This is challenging when there is pain but extremely helpful to aid our bodies towards rest.

SIMPLIFY - 'Keep it simple' is one of my husband's favorite sayings. Just ask our two daughters! Learning to simplify is key to dealing with RA. There have been days that getting through a work day uses up all my strength. So that means resting as soon as I get home and heading to bed with the chickens! Thankfully, my husband has been super understanding about picking up dinner on his way home or stopping at the grocery store if necessary. He is my hero! 

Another way to simplify is learning to prioritize family, church and work events. I love my grandchildren so much! But some days I must watch them play and love them from the armchair rather than playing a game on the floor. (Wait, what was I thinking? I can't get up from the floor without leaving all grace and dignity behind) So, thank goodness for books and that all three of my grandkids love to sit and read.

Be flexible with your lifestyle - My husband and I now leave functions early or beg off events entirely if my body is not up to cooperating. I had always been an avid walker prior to contracting RA and now there are days where walking through the grocery store feels like I have accomplished a great physical feat! I appreciate grocery carts in a whole new light - they work as excellent walkers!

The last thing I want to share is to give yourself permission to mourn, cry and lament when absolutely necessary and then get back on the trail of acknowledging God and His call on your life as soon as possible. Remember there are so many people who are in similar, and sometimes far more challenging battles than you are. Count your blessings my dear sisters and brothers and never ever give up!