Yikes! Technology!

Does anyone else out there feel like the technological world is passing you by...For instance now there are phones with apps that do everything except brush your teeth and tuck you in at night. I remember mimeographs, for heaven's sake - I would spell check that but I'm sure that word is too ancient for my computer spell check to even recognize. How about IBM Selectric typewriters? Wow, those things were something and they even had a correction ribbon built right in!

The other night I went to a movie and two "20 somethings" were sitting in front of me waiting for the show to start. A guy and a girl - maybe a date? If it was a date it was pretty sad because they both sat there madly texting on their own phones. I kept waiting for them to converse with each other but NOPE the people they were texting with on their phones were more important to them, or even sadder maybe they were texting each other because they don't know how to look each other in the eye! Take a clue people. We need to TALK; more face to face interaction before the art of conversation is lost entirely. Oh and spelling words out correctly is a thing of the past - everything has an abbreviation. I'd give you an example but because this blog is about how I don't get it then I can safely admit that I don't know what some of the abbreviations stand for. For instance when someone put LOL I thought they meant lots of luck for the longest time! Yup, I'm that old person with the confused look on my face trying to read messages that are cryptically written. Hope they aren't letting me know I just won a million dollars because I just night hit 'delete".

Another lost art is note writing. Taking a minute to say "Hi, I was thinking of you" in a note card that requires a stamp and an envelope. Don't you just love getting a handwritten card in the mail? I do! Instead we rely on emails which makes perfect sense, it really does, you don't need to wait for several days to get a reply to your letter. Instant gratification! I email my sisters almost daily. I love that we can stay in touch so easily but getting that personalized note card or birthday card is such a treat.

The other day I was thinking that this young generation will someday be standing in my shoes trying to figure out how technology left them in the dark. They will be saying "remember the days when we had our I-Pads and I-phones? Remember how we used Email, for heavens sake"?

Drama, Drama, Drama!

Some days just seem full of drama. Once my daughter Joanne described her toddler daughter as 'living in a glass house of emotions' that day. Don't we all have those days?

It isn't the huge life changing issues that I'm referring to here - that falls into an entirely different category. I am talking about the things that are bugging us at the moment. A messy bathroom left for you to clean up, someone ate the last of the ice cream (it might have been you the night before, but still!...), the car is making a funny noise, the meatloaf burned, the kids have been stepping on every last nerve you have or you just had an ugly disagreement with your teenager. You think longingly of the Sandals Resort commercial only you consider going alone a nice idea, because you just aren't in the mood to deal with anybody, at least at the moment.

I think that is the key phrase - at the moment.  It is a moment, a temporary situation. If we dwell on that moment and give it more fuel by pestering it mentally to death then we will find the next drama-moment will bug us even worse. We will enter a downward spiral. Instead, we need to de-rail the effects of the drama and recognize things for what they are - usually small stuff and as the saying goes "don't sweat the small stuff - and it is all small stuff". We need to redirect our focus...For me, what works is to think of a praise song and start singing it - or recall a verse and meditate on it...This scrubs my mental clockwork and gets me back on track. That is the power of the Word of God. It is life changing and also moment changing.

I've been reading the Old Testament, and over and over the Israelites whine and complain - human nature rears its ugly head even in the midst of God's provision - sound familiar? It sure does to me. The temptation to focus on circumstances instead of AMAZING GOD!

My Profit and Loss Margin

Is my glass half full or half empty? I was thinking about some of my losses and gains through the experience of dealing with RA and I wanted to share my reflections on the subject:

Here's what's lost:


long walks
the ability to get up easily from a chair
getting down on the floor to play with grandkids
some of the grandkid games that grammas play with them
energy and stamina to cook a big family meal
energy and stamina in general

Here's what I still have:

I can still walk - just not as far
I can still sit in a regular chair
I have grandkids and they love me (the feeling is moo-choo-wul)
There are plenty of games and activities I can still do with them
They take naps so I can take one at the same time
I am blessed with a dear husband, my family and dear friends
I can still cook and there is always "take out"

Here's what I've gained:

Realizing how many people love and support me
Increased creativity
Drawing closer to our dear and loving Lord
More compassion for those who are down and suffering
Deeper understanding of the Scriptures
Better realization of what really matters
More appreciation for each new day
More thankfulness for the day that has passed
    (as I retire for the night in my comfy bed)
Realizing that a merry heart really is like medicine (Prov 17:22)
Deeper love for my family and friends
More grace for how others, and myself, journey through life
     (and to have patience with the process)
Learning to trust the Lord more

So looking at these lists and seeing how much longer the last two are brings a tear to my eye and gratefulness to my heart. If these lists were placed on an old fashioned scale it would tip in the favor of GAIN!! I may have lost certain things but am so grateful for the lessons I am learning. Thank you Jesus that You are always with me and You have promised to "Never leave me or forsake me".

Please share a comment on your profit and loss margin - I would love to hear your thoughts. HUGS!

Bless the Lord oh my soul! Let all that is within me bless HIS holy name! Psalm 103

Decorating the Moon

When you get a flare-up of an auto-immune disease one of the first things the doctor prescribes is more prednisone until things get back under control. Those of you who have had this miracle drug know that with it comes a few negative side affects. One of them might be that you find your face has lost its natural contours and is now round until you taper back off the prednisone. This side affect is called "moon-face". All of a sudden, almost overnight, you look like you've put on several pounds and your face is all puffed up. Gosh, I wish the doctor would prescribe me my own make up artist!

But seeing how that is NOT the case and life must go on, I need to get ready to face the day. I've worn make up for years and for those of us who use these wonderful products it means on occasion we have to "decorate the moon". First, I study my face in the magnifying mirror - an added horror as I observe the swollen cheeks and sunken eyes, but a magnifying mirror is necessary at my age due to reduced vision! Oh well, on to the make up...after I put on foundation its time for some special affects. Where are those cheekbones for the cosmetic blush? Let's see, they should be about right here an inch or two under the eyes; which are sunken in a bit by the swollen flesh of my moon-face, but I forge on! After some deliberation I carefully place the blush to define some cheeks and create definition. (By tilting my head up and slightly to the side I can imagine I've succeeded in achieving the desired affect). Now it is time for eye make-up. Oh oh, with those sunken in eyes and dark circles it means I need to resort to a little concealer magic. Finally, a bit of lip color, add earrings and voila! I'm ready to face the day.

Recently I bought myself a great pair of sunglasses. Isn't it great that large sunglasses are back in style? Now if I could just see where I was going with them on indoors that would be terrific!

Maybe what I need to work on isn't my make up but instead is...I Peter 3:4 "Do not let your adornment be merely outward—arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel, rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God."

You are a woman to LOVE

says Jack...And Diane Keaton, with a perplexed face, asks herself "what does that mean?"

(whine) I wanna go walking on the beach with my sweetie and pick up rocks - white, black or otherwise. Let's go! Hmmm....spontaneity - what a wonderful word. Just BEING together with the one you love. There is nothing quite like it. Especially if that person really "gets" you. Mike and I have had to learn to re-think spontaneity - its called spontaneity with forethought added in :-). Outings take more planning to accommodate my physical challenges. Keeping a sense of humor is very helpful but in all honesty we have both had times of mourning what is lost and what our new reality has become.

Those of you who know my husband Mike know that I am blessed. He is the dearest of men. We are best friends on this journey called life. Sadly, when you have RA, or any autoimmune disease, it doesn't just affect you. It affects your spouse too. Mike has had to take days off work to drive me to the doctor; he helps with housework chores that I can no longer manage (i.e. scrubbing the tub); he does the majority of the grocery shopping and has cooked many meals. He has managed to sleep beside me on my worst pain filled nights - loving me and praying for me. Maybe it is harder on the caregiver, when a flare is occurring, than the recipient of that care. I don't know the answer to that but sometimes I fear it is true.  But Mike has set his mind to accept the things we cannot change and to let God 'grow him up' through life experiences. He faithfully reads his Bible and encourages me daily and He still feels "I am a woman to love". What does that mean to me? That His love for me is a reflection of his love for God. It means that he has loved me through all the changes and we are still Valentines. For always and forever.

In this blog I just need to express my gratefulness for my husband. For this wonderful gift God gave me in His provision for my life mate. Thank you Lord!  My husband has such a courageous heart for You, Lord! I am truly blessed! ...Honey, I love you!

Adventures in Medication

As all of us with RA know the medication aspects of the journey is fraught with trial and error. I am one of those awful people who didn't write all the medications I've tried down. What I can tell you is there have been several and for some reason all the meds have 3 or 4 syllables and are full of q's and x's and z's. What are the drug companies thinking?

The medications that have remained constant through the journey are methotrexate and prednisone in varying dosages. The prednisone ups and downs are challenging and, for me, I'm one that has to withdraw extra slowly. Sometimes half a mg. at a time for a few weeks, and then drop another half a mg. Currently I'm at 7 and hope to get down to 5 which is suppose to be my maintenance dose (if I can't successfully go lower). My goal for a long time was to hit 0 mg of prednisone but that has not been possible so my attitude has changed. 5 mg. sounds fine now and that little pill really work wonders despite the many side effects. It has proved to be a necessary evil for me.

In fact that's mainly the lesson learned that I want to share - my medication attitude adjustment. All my life I had not been one to take OTC medications except on rare occasions. Now they were prescribing things I couldn't even pronounce with long sections on side effects the pharmacist hands you. Wow, how things had changed. Don't you love the commercials for medications that show a person running through the field with balloons and flowers, while the announcer is telling you all the horrific side effects? So for some time I have been trying to reduce medications and dosages with the hope that medications would be entirely done away with because those side effects sound as bad as what you're taking the drug for! However I have had to learn that, for me, RA with medications WHILE doing all I can dietary wise is OK too. After all, functioning and maintaining my life is one of my main goals. It isn't about the medications. It is about continuing to trust in God. He is ALWAYS in control. Haven't I been striving to practice living in Thankfulness? "In everything give thanks for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you" (I Thess 5:18). The RA, the medications, the whole experience was to be enfolded in thankfulness to God. Counting my blessings can only improve my spiritual vision.

Now for the two medication biggies: Enbrel and Humira. I was on Enbrel for the past year. At first the Enbrel was hugely helpful but gradually it helped less and less and the flare-ups were very active and long. Recently the doctor switched me over to Humira and I've had two doses of that so far (once a week). She said it might be 3 - 6 months to know if Humira would be successful for me and so far so good.

When the doctor switched the prescription she assured me that Enbrel was just like Humira and I would have no trouble administering the injection. However, when I picked up the Humira and saw how different the "pen injector" looked, my confidence didn't equal the doctor's so I requested a nurse visit for assistance. No problem! The nurse could see me right away. Together, we looked over the numerous instructions (Enbrel had 4 steps this one has like 17!). The nurse said this was new for her too and pretty soon we were laughing at the over-kill on the steps! For instance, 'hold injector pen purple side up and check if fluid is full'. The next step said 'hold injector pen gray side up and see if fluid is clear'. Were they serious?! Who edited this instruction pamphlet? By now we were really losing it and started dramatizing the steps so it only got worse from there. At last, through the giggling, the shot was administered.

When I came out of the nurses office, my daughter (who had driven me to the appointment due to my hands being 'out of order' because of an RA flare up) looked at me incredulously and asked "what were you doing in there? I could hear you laughing". So to end this blog I will say that,  if its true that laughter is the best medicine I should be feeling GREAT! I promise to keep you posted!